The end of NaBloPoMo

Wow.  It’s over!  It went by fast for me.  Did it go fast for you?  I know a lot of people struggled to find something to post about each day, or had a hard time finding the time to post every day.  But I didn’t have a hard time at all and that is not what I expected.  For the most part, there wasn’t a single day where I had to reach for something to post about.  There were a few Fridays (this one included) where it’s gotten to be four in the afternoon and I am instant messaging my husband to ask if he’s going to do his post for the day or did he forget? (For the record, he says he’ll post something today but that I might want to put something up in the meantime.  So if you’ve been enjoying his posts this month, be sure to check back later.  I’m sure he’ll have something just FABULOUS to write about me *sarcasm intended*.)

I’m proud of myself.  I really am.  I didn’t think I would have time or material and that I would really struggle to post every day.  And I did just fine.  It makes me think I could post every day from here on out, or at least until the new baby is born.  I should at least try, don’t you think?

Of course, I’m sure there’ll be at least a weekend or two here in December where I’ll be glad to NOT HAVE TO post anything.  And why did I participate?  Because I think it’s fun. It’s a challenge to myself.  I love to write, why not embrace it for at least one month out of the year?  There are prizes involved for the lucky few.  But I didn’t win a bleeding thing last year and I certainly don’t expect to win anything this year either.   But that’s okay.  That’s not why I signed onto this challenge in the first place, after all.  Prizes are nice, but just being a part of NaBloPoMo was even nicer.  And the fact that I stuck with it and came up with moderately interesting posts every single day makes me feel so happy, I could bust.

Happy End of November everyone!  Let’s get on with December!

It makes me sick

I was just reading All & Sundry’s latest post where she talks about Michael Moore’s “Sicko”.  I haven’t seen it yet as I don’t think it was a big draw at the drive-in this summer and if it wasn’t playing at the drive-in, I didn’t see it (welcome to having small children!).  I’ve seen his other movies though and they always incite strong opinions, one way or the other.  They’re rarely enjoyable movies, regardless if you agree or disagree with their message.  It’s hard to enjoy something that so often succeeds in stirring you to violence, am I right?

At any rate, the topic of health insurance is what I’m getting at here (couldn’t tell could you?).  We’ve had both, in our nearly ten years of marriage.  When we were first married, and Kile got his job at the university, we chose an HMO plan (we had our choice too, of several HMOs as well as PPOs) that we felt would cover us best.  And boy howdy, did it ever!  My office visits were only $5 each visit, as were prescriptions.  I could go to any hospital in the area I wanted and I chose St. Marys downtown as it is generally viewed as a bit nicer in the maternity department.  When Harry made his entrance and required a c-section and the NICU and everything else, we didn’t even see a BILL.  Not even a hint of a bill.

Shortly after, however, was 2000 and you have to admit, the economy started taking a bit of a slide.  And in that slide, the HMO option for Northern Nevada went.  Southern Nevada still had an HMO, but we were forced into a self-funded PPO.  Better than nothing, for sure.  Office visits were $15, with prescriptions at least that (often more).  Washoe (totally not even called Washoe anymore but anyone who lives around here still calls it that) was our hospital, and while it’s a good place, it’s a little less “nice” in some areas.  Of course, this was when I was trying to get pregnant, going to infertility specialists, getting my hypothyroid treated, pregnant and delivering Jackson, breaking my ankle, Harry needed surgery, I got pregnant AGAIN and then miscarried and then, at last, pregnant again with Liam.  Months from his due date, we switched to an HMO yet again.  They had started offering one again in Northern Nevada, and we had been reluctant to join it for a while since our infertility specialist did not take that particular insurance and we had heard poor things about it.  However, the company had since beefed up their act and it didn’t appear we would need the infertility specialist any longer and having an HMO covered delivery would be nice.

This HMO was not as nice, not nearly as nice,as the first one we had had.  But it made that PPO we had look like Third World Health Care by comparison.  Which, you know, it was.  It was deplorable.  At least now, we had a copay for the hospital and the rest was taken care of for Liam’s delivery.  My office visits are $20 for a primary care physician, $40 for specialists.  However, the good news is that for prenatal care, we only need to pay the copay the first visit and all other visits are free of charge (of course, someone needs to remind my OB’s office of this as they have charged me the last two visits).  Never again do I want to be without an HMO.  And I know there are so many people out there, SO MANY, who would be thrilled with the HMO we have.  Shoot, there are probably many people who would be thrilled with that POS PPO we had.  Because at least it paid SOMETHING.

I know socialized healthcare is a hot-button issue and there are a lot of people who are four-square against it.  But I think there have been a lot of misunderstandings about it.  A lot of people say that if we had socialized healthcare, we would have to wait months upon months for treatment.  That there would be enormous waits at the doctors office.   That our taxes would skyrocket to phenomenal proportions.  I don’t know about the first two things, I’m hardly an expert on the subject, but the third just makes me want to bang my head into a wall.  Of course higher taxes outrage some people.  After all, if they had to pay higher taxes, how could they afford their enormous gas guzzling monster SUVs (or the gas to fuel them)?  How could they purchase HDTV plasma screen televisions?  How could they spend thousands of dollars on themselves in the interest of pure materialism?

This is a pretty selfish society we live in.  We want to spend the money on the things want to spend it on.  Not the betterment of our society and those around us, but on ourselves and the things we can buy to make ourselves feel more important.  It makes me sick, frankly.  And as Linda said over at All & Sundry, I think basic healthcare should be a RIGHT, not a privilege.

Resolution

I didn’t realize I left you all hanging on Tuesday with my “Big Step” post.  At least, not until the lovely Shawna left a comment this morning pointing out my omission.  Oops!  Didn’t mean to leave you all a cliffhanger.  So, in the interest in full disclosure: the bus adventure went GREAT.  I met him off the bus that afternoon and if it hadn’t been for the other girls on the bus bossing him around, it would have been picture perfect.  Alas, Harry saw me across the street and was wanting to cross the street.  I don’t think he was actually going to because this is Harry we’re talking about and he’s cautious as the day is long.  But some of the girls who ride the bus with him and knew he was new to the whole bus thing that day reprimanded him and told him he had to wait to cross.  And this pissed my son off.  He doesn’t like being told what to do by ME most of the time, much less some girl who has no authority with him.  He hollered at the “lead girl” to be quiet and then burst into tears as he was crossing the street towards me.  Poor kid.

But really?  The whole thing went fine.  He told me he liked riding the bus and was excited to ride it again yesterday.  Which he did and this time, no tears because he crossed the street just as he was supposed to.  He’s becoming an old pro, that one.  He’s taking the bus again today, and by now it’s old hat.  We have to turn in his “emergency contact” sheet, but other than that, it’s almost like he’s been taking the bus all along.  I don’t know about tomorrow, since it’s a half day and we’ve been invited over for a play date at our friends’ house. I guess I’ll play it as it comes.

Speaking of riding the bus, it’s a darn good thing we decided to go with it this week.  This whole budget crunch is especially difficult this month.  While our “good” van was registered, we lacked the new tags to put on the license plate so we were reluctant to take it out when going to MOPS yesterday.  Because surely if we had, a cop would have pulled in behind us and pulled us over for not displaying the tags as we’re supposed to.  So we took Kile’s van.  Which, it’s a good van too.  It was my van before we got the current one and definitely does the trick.  However, my husband (unlike myself) tends to drive the gas tank to empty before refilling.  And yesterday, there was maybe an 1/8 of a tank left in there.  Of course, it’s about 15-20 miles to MOPS and then another 15-20 miles back.  Oh, and we are out of funds for the month.  Payday comes around 9pm tonight (god bless direct deposit), but that didn’t help us yesterday.  I had two dollar bills in my wallet plus about two dollars in change.  We wanted to use that, however, for lunch since MOPS gets out about 11:30 and certain pregnant ladies are generally pretty hungry about then.  We swung by del Taco (not out of our way and hence, not using any more gas than necessary) and had some crunchy tacos to fill our tummies with.  It worked out pretty well.  And we actually made it home on the fumes left in the gas tank.  So that’s pretty good, I think.  WE MADE IT.

It stinks to be so spent at the end of the month.  And most months, it’s not quite this bad.  But… ’tis the season.  And we make do.  I’m just glad there was no pushing of the van required yesterday, because that would have SUCKED.

Something Else

I was going to post a vitriolic post about my homicidal thoughts off the previous evening, but as often happens, I woke up this morning feeling a lot more calm and self-possessed. Too bad too, because it would have been a fabulous blog post. I had some great stuff planned. Ah well. C’est la vie.

Instead, let’s talk about this baby some more. I know, it’s ya’ll favorite topic, isn’t it? You just LOVE to hear about how I’m dying to find out what this baby is and how I’m so po’ I can’t go get a fancy ultrasound done to find out. (Though, I feel I must point out that a) my husband is paid once a month and since he’s the only one who works around here, that’s it for us for money and b) we avoid using credit like the plague. That means that if we need to buy a new mattress please Lord we have to have the money on hand. Same goes for Christmas presents and ultrasounds. So maybe you can see why December is a challenging month around here.) So whatever. We’ll get an ultrasound eventually, I’m sure (though probably not until after Christmas) and ONE of these days we’ll find out what this baby does indeed sport betwixt it’s knees. In the meantime, why don’t we have some fun with it?

 [poll=2]

Please vote.  This might help alleviate some of the obsessing I’ve been indulging in lately.  If it helps:

  • I was sicker this time than with previous pregnancies, although I have gotten progressively sicker with each pregnancy so far.
  • My hair hasn’t grown terribly fast this time and has been more prone to falling out though that might not mean anything and I haven’t been paying attention too much.
  • For those who like those Chinese calendar thingies, this baby was conceived in July and I was 31 at the time.
  • My face!  OMG, my face.  I nearly cry every time I look in the mirror.
  • The baby is awful low in my pelvis, but then, all  my babies after Harry have sat really low.  I like to joke that “broke the mold”.
  • In the first few months, I couldn’t stand meat, especially cheeseburgers or even worse, bacon cheeseburgers.  Now,  I can eat burgers again, but I prefer not to have bacon cheeseburgers still.
  • As with all my pregnancies, I really enjoy fresh fruit.  I tend to crave a little sweetness in the late afternoon.

Okay, I think that covers some of the basics.  If you have any specific questions you want answered before you vote, ask in the comments and I’ll answer via email and in the comments as well.  Vote, betches!

A Big Step

I put Harry on the school bus this morning.

*gulp*

It’s a big step we’ve been wanting to try for a while.  With the baby coming in March, we knew he’d have to start taking the bus.  I make it work, driving him to school and whatnot with Liam but with another baby?  Especially in the early months?  Probably not as doable.  My sanity is important here, people. 😉   My mom has been trying to get me to put Harry on the bus for a while now.  Recently, she told me that she felt I should have him on the bus by winter, because she didn’t like the thought of me slipping and sliding down the hill to school in my van on icy roads.  Not in my “precious condition”, at least.

Harry has wanted to ride the bus.  It picks up and drops off just down at the bottom of our cul-de-sac, there are kids in his class who ride the same bus and plus, it seems like fun.  You know, especially if you haven’t done it before.  So we bit the bullet.  I walked down to the bus stop with him this morning (Liam in his stroller, bundled up against the spitting rain and cold, November air) and waited until the bus came.  Then I introduced Harry to the driver and got an emergency contact sheet to fill out and turn back in tomorrow.  Harry was way excited, I could tell by his body language.  Kids already on the bus recognized him and called out, “Harry!  It’s Harry!  Hi, Harry!” as he climbed aboard.  He sat by a window and smiled and waved at me as the bus pulled away.

I walked back home with a huge smile on my face, knowing we’d made an important move here.  It’s sad, in a way, because it just means he’s getting older and more independent.   It’s hard to sever those ties, you know?  But I’m happy too because it’s my job as a mom to make sure he’s an independent person as he grows up.  And today, he found a huge chunk of independence.  And here in a few minutes, we’re going to walk down to the corner and wait for the bus to pull up.  I can’t wait to hear how it all went.

Pregnant Whine

Complaining and pregnancy go hand in hand. Virtually every woman, at one time or another, complains while she is pregnant. Some women aren’t shy about their whining. They’ll post about it freely on their blogs, or tell the person standing next to them in line at the grocery store. Others, particularly those that had difficulty conceiving, might feel that they shouldn’t complain. That maybe, if they complain, it will appear that they are not eternally grateful to be pregnant in the first place. Now, come on. We all know that almost all women, the infertile as well as the fertile, are grateful to be having a child. Just because someone complains about the aches and pains and annoyances of pregnancy, doesn’t mean they don’t thank their lucky stars that they’ve been blessed with a little bundle of joy. So lets just get that out of the way up front, shall we? ALL PREGNANT WOMEN DESERVE TO BITCH. It’s a uniquely difficult (in the physical sense, though it’s no cake-walk in the emotional sense either) experience and anyone who can make it the whole nine months without even THINKING a negative thought is a robot.

That said, I want to get into my latest pregnancy whine.  It’s my face, ya’ll.  OMG.  I haven’t seen a face like this… well, EVER.  Even at 15 years old, I didn’t break out this bad.  It’s on my cheeks, my chin, around my mouth, on my nose, on my forehead… good grief!  And it won’t go away.  Now, I will admit, I don’t take the best care of my skin.  I know, Amy would recoil in horror knowing just how little I do for my skin.   I don’t wash it as much as I should, I never use moisturizer or anything else like eye creams or anything.  I’m pretty low-maintenance.  But in the past, it’s never been a problem.  I just put my acne cream on whatever trouble spot I’m having (and it’s never EVER plural) and the problem is solved.  This time, not so much.  The cream isn’t cutting it.  I mean, I guess it keeps things under moderate control but the breakouts (especially the ones on my cheeks) will NOT go away.  They just get worse.  And worse.

I’ve never had this before.  Not with any pregnancy.  I was getting to the point here that I didn’t think there was anything new under the sun, you know?  I’ve been pregnant now a total of five times.  True, one of those times fizzled a 1/3 of the way through, but still.  I never had skin like this.  If you buy in to that sort of thing, the “Old Wives” would have you believe that a different pregnancy means a different gender.  Plus “they say” that acne means you’re having a girl.  All I can say is, if this child isn’t a girl, then this boy is totally grounded.  I’ll put up with some spots (okay, a LOT of spots) for a shot at a girl, but a boy is gonna have a heck of a time getting away with that from me.

Christmas is upon us

We had a rough time with Christmas budgeting last year and that’s a trend that looks to continue this year. The good news is that next year it should be a lot better. We’ve just had to tighten the belt quite a bit lately and losing my design business revenue since Liam was born made a big difference. December was a pretty good month, interesting enough, for blog design. And it was nice to have that while we did.

We have a plan this year. Harry has asked for some fairly high dollar items (including something that he wouldn’t get even if I were a millionaire, a motorized dirt bike). We have it on good authority that his #1 Santa gift, a telescope, has already been purchased by family so we don’t have that to fret about. But he also wants a Wii. We would LOVE to get a Wii for him too. Because, shoot, we’d like one too. Those things are sick fun. Alas we figure our budget, per boy, is $100. And you cannot get a Wii for $100. We hope to get one soon, maybe after Christmas when we’ll have a great deal more money on hand. The thing is, we are already planning to get an Xbox 360 with Halo 3 after Christmas so the Wii may have to wait. We pretty much know what we’re going to get the boys so that’s a good thing.

We aren’t going to get each other much of anything. Because for the most part, what we want would definitely be out of the price range. Plus, the Xbox is going to be something of a family gift as we’ll all enjoy it. So that’ll be sort of like a post-Christmas Christmas present. But what we are going to do is get each other a bunch of small stocking-stuffer style gifts (think $5 to $10 price range) . This way we have some things to open and it should be funny. We did that years ago, back when we were still in an apartment and low on money and it was a blast. See, it’s not the presents that are important. It’s the fun and togetherness and the magic of the holiday. I hate that our society has made Christmas this giant commercial monster and you feel bad if you don’t spend at least $1000 on each member of your family. I don’t want to feel bad anymore.

Christmas is what we make of it. And I want to make it fun and magical for my kids this year. I’m through with worrying about being able to buy enough presents or the right present. I want to get some fun things to share with my family and sit under the tree, drinking hot chocolate and munching on popcorn and listening to Christmas music. And 20 years from now, my kids won’t remember what they got as a present this year, but hopefully they will remember (or rather, hopefully Harry will remember) all the fun we had together.

Thoughts Aside
Deals like home insurance and car insurance make sure that in hour of need, you don’t have to look up to anyone else. This also means that a business opportunity can be safely pursued. Even better, go for travel insurance as well.

Good Fortune (or lack thereof)

I’ve been thinking over this subject more and more in the last several months.  I don’t consider good fortune to be the same thing as good luck.  Good luck covers a more broad definition of the subject.  It includes non-material (but no less awesome) thing such as having a great family, a good career and a fairly worry-free existence.  We haven’t always had good luck around here, it seems to come and go in phases.  Right now, we’re having a lot of good luck.  I mean, if getting pregnant by surprise without even trying after all those years of infertility and loss isn’t good luck, I don’t know what is.  At the same time, having a baby suddenly entangle itself in its own cord at 38 weeks gestation and subsequently die isn’t bad luck, I don’t know what is. We’ve seen our fair share of both.

But one thing we haven’t really had is good fortune.  I don’t know about you, but I define fortune as being a lot more material in nature.  It’s having a job with an awesome Christmas bonus, winning some fabulous prize from an amazing contest, and just basically having excellent material luck.  Kile has a great job at the university.  It’s very stable and we’ve been able to enjoy some awesome benefits over the years.  Kile also gets great vacation benefits.  He couldn’t begin to use up all his vacation and sick leave.  So we never have to worry about taking time off if he needs to because he always can.  And while there was a period of time where we had no HMO medical plans to choose from and had to go with a sucky PPO, at least we had that.  And his 401K is fantastic.  He has a mandatory 21% contribution to his 401K each month and the university matches him dollar for dollar.  Not many employers offer that.  As a result, we have a fantastic retirement account already.  We also aren’t able to touch it which was frustrating when we were buying our house but beneficial to us in the long run.  It is, in essence, our savings account.  Because let’s face it.  There’s not much left each month to save.  Not right now, at least.  Because while working for the state gives you job security and benefits, it doesn’t pay a whole lot.  His same job with another company would probably pay quite a bit more.  And he would probably have a Christmas bonus, something he doesn’t get now.  It’s a trade off.

We make do, and I’m able to stay home with the kids.  But we just don’t have a lot extra.   But that’s not all.  I just don’t have good fortune, personally.  I don’t win contests.  I have gotten to where I rarely enter contests anymore because I know the chances of me winning something fabulous like hundreds of dollars or some amazing piece of electronic genius or a family trip to someplace wonderful is really, really, REALLY small.  I’ve tried in the past and have never succeeded.  No pink Dyson’s, no iPods, no laptops, no Disney cruises.  So why bother?

I don’t have fortune with my own business ventures either.  I do okay, considering.  And I’m grateful for every little bit I do get from blogging.  But I’m no overnight success.  And I’m pretty well okay with the notion that I never will be a raging success either.  Nothing I write brings the readers in droves.  I enjoy a nice, healthy and loyal readership and I am very thankful for that.  But I am not going to ever make the big bucks from this (or any other) blog.  I just don’t have that good fortune.

If there are two paths to take, the fortunate and the unfortunate, I always get the unfortunate path.  If I was ever given the fortunate path by some happy mistake, I’d probably die of shock.  In the meantime, I am satisfied with breaking even and making it one day at a time.

Nests are for the birds

Is it really still November?  Crikey it seems like this month just keeps going on and on.  Anyway what we were talking about?  Oh yes, embarrassing things about Marilyn!  What is it about being pregnant that brings out the nesting instinct in women?  Marilyn is already a bit of a “nester” even when she isn’t pregnant but it becomes overwhelming when she’s got a bun in the oven.  For her it manifests itself in the corner of our living room next to her chair and on the table between our chairs.  The other night after dinner I looked over at the table and my mind boggled at the pure physics of all the crap piled up.  Seriously, this pile of assorted cups, bowls, silverware, paper plates, etc. broke more than one law of physics not to mention the law of gravity.  The table itself is only measures about 18 inches across but the pile itself is about double that.  As Marilyn carefully placed another empty yogurt cup on the one side the whole structure groaned slightly and I swear I felt a tremor.  I looked at her aghast and the only thing I could muster was “Now that’s just a work of art!”  I’ve since cleaned said table off and as I sit and read this notice that the foundations have already been laid for the next masterpiece.  The pile next to her chair scares me.  I’m positive that everything we’ve lost in the past couple of years is somehow buried in that pile including several remotes, toys, small pets, etc.  I would clean it up but I don’t have a big enough stick or a gun.  I’ll warn you now that Marilyn will try to turn her nesting habits around to make it seem like its my fault and complain something about some tables sitting in the garage that I “haven’t done anything with yet even though I bought him a can of spray paint” but she’s really just deflecting the real issue and I guarantee that a bigger table will only provide a canvas for a bigger piece of art.  Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!  Nest week is my last post 😦

Post-Turkey Ruminations

Dear God.  I didn’t think that much food existed in the world.  I should have taken pictures of it all because I don’t think you all will believe me when I tell you it was more food than I’ve ever seen before in my LIFE.  We had our Thanksgiving with friends at their house and the sheer volume of food was just incredible.  It brings a tear to my eye to remember it all.  First off, there was snacks.  Veggie trays, fruit trays, seven-layer dips, salsa, french onion dip, deep fried sausage pockets and these egg roll things that I was assured were fantastic but I didn’t try.  Of course, then I noticed all the Hornsby’s.  If you aren’t familiar, Hornsby’s is a hard cider.  It’s alcoholic and quite possibly my favorite alcoholic drink ever (next to margaritas and appletinis, of course).  And there was SCADS of it.  And I could have NONE of it.  I consider that tantamount to torture.  I’m sure I could have easily finished off an entire six-pack on my own had I been able.  I LOVE that stuff.

Anyhow, there was plenty to eat even before the dinner was rolled out.  And oh.  The dinner.  First, there was a 25 pound turkey.  Have you ever seen a 25 pound turkey?  They’re ENORMOUS.  I swear, the thigh on this thing was bigger altogether than the turkey we had for Thanksgiving last year.  And instead of getting all dried out, it stayed moist which is a true testament to our friend’s cooking abilities.  But that wasn’t all.  We also had a 2 pound barbecued tri-tip that was marinated in something absolutely fantastic and I swear this stuff melted in your mouth.  It was SO GOOD.  But that wasn’t it.  No, we also had a giant spiral-cut ham too.  THREE kinds of meat.  Then there were two kinds of potatoes, cranberry sauce (the jellied kind), fruit salad, fruit salad with whipped cream in it, some sort of fluffy green jello sort of thing, cheese and broccoli casserole, cheesy zucchini and corn casserole, stuffing, homemade rolls with homemade honey butter, and gravy.  Can you picture this?  All this for 8 adults and 7 kids (two of whom are babies and only one of those babies ate even a tiny bit of the food).  So there were some serious leftovers.  And I didn’t even mention the PIES.  Oh dear god.  We had pumpkin (of course!), blackberry and blueberry, apple, coconut cream, and chocolate cream.  All homemade.  All with homemade whipped cream.  Liam was a huge fan of this whipped cream and the pumpkin pie.  I nearly blew up from all the food I ate.

We had a great time.  It was so much fun to hang out with people instead of being by ourselves.  Even though we had to constantly chase Liam out of the Hornsby’s (a kid after my own heart).  Harry had a great time and we barely saw him the whole day.  After dinner we all played on the Wii, which was great fun as always.  I somehow ended up in 4th place playing bowling which is just awful.  It was so much fun.  We went home with big smiles on our faces.  And then I collapsed in a heap and entered a turkey coma.

We had a “plan” to go shopping at 7 this morning.  I had seen a Kohl’s ad that showed boots (just like the boots I want!) on sale for $17, from their original price of $65.  Since I’m a mere shadow of myself without boots, I had to have them.  Imagine my surprise when I woke up not with the alarm at 6:30 as I was expecting, but at 7:30 with sunlight streaming through the window.  It took me another 20 minutes to convince Kile to get up.  And then we had to have breakfast.  And then Kile had to shower.  So it was 9:30 before we got to Kohl’s.  And yeah, there were no boots left in my size.  Dangit.  So that sorta put a damper on things.  I really wanted those boots.

We also called one of the ultrasound places in town to check their prices (the other place was closed).  It’s $100 for a 2-D gender determination and $200 for a 3-D/4-D ultrasound.  DAMN, I would like to do it.  I want to find out SO BAD.  But $100 just before Christmas?  I can’t forsake presents for this. If I was a cheesier sort of person, I’d set up donations on the blog here for a gender ultrasound.  But, that’s incredibly cheesy and other people have Christmas looming too!  Plus, much as you all are kind and express your anxiousness to find out along with me, I doubt you care as much as I do about finding out.  Shoot, I doubt ANYONE cares as much as I do about finding out.  I guess it’ll have to wait until at least January.

You have no idea how much this is killing me.