So my luck

Sometimes, I really, really hate my life.  All day long I waited for this ultrasound.  All week.  Ever since I found out I was pregnant, I looked forward.  But I should have known better.  I think I *did* know better.  This wasn’t my first rodeo and I happen to make entirely obnoxious children.

The little turd wouldn’t show us the goods.  Or at least, not a good peek at them anyhow.  And it took us nearly a half hour to get to that point anyhow.  This gal was one of those who has the screen turned away while she does all the measurements and whatnot.  She wouldn’t even let Kile and Liam be in the room until the very end so they had to pace the hallway outside the room, with Liam hollering his bored little head off.  At one point, she had to adjust the bed with my head down to try to dislodge the baby from my pelvis, where IT was perfectly happy to hang out.

Finally, she let Kile in and we got to see some of the baby parts.  She said she’d scanned by the “parts” several times and wasn’t able to quite make anything out and made another try for it.  I was encouraged, the view we were getting was far better than the non-view Liam gave us at my level 2 u/s back then.  At least we could see the general area.  IT seemed to be a in classic “sitting on the copy machine” pose.  You think that would have meant we could have seen something.  The tech was convinced she couldn’t get a good enough view to make an accurate call.  I strained my eyes, first looking for the typical “boy stuff” and seeing none.  Then I looked or the tell-tale signs of a girl and couldn’t quite get a view on that either.  Before I knew it, she was done and we were sent on our way.  I felt like if we’d had another minute or two, maybe poked the baby around a bit, we could have gotten a decent money shot.  But no.

She said she thought it looked like a girl but didn’t want to say for sure.  I had to agree, I’ve seen enough gender ultrasounds to know pretty well what I’m looking at.  But then, there was that moment in time we thought Liam was a girl too.  True, that was later on (something like 28 weeks?) and the angle was different (Liam’s was sort of “head on” and things were in shadow).  So I don’t know.  My gut said?  Girl.  But my gut and a $1.50 will buy you a cup of coffee (not at Starbucks though) so what do I know?

What I’d like to know is WHY CAN’T I EVER KNOW FOR SURE??  Did I piss God off this week?  Actually, we must have because we were pulled over coming out Walmart later on after picking up some bread and cheese.  Kile hasn’t registered the van yet and he loves to put that off until the last possible moment and the guy got us on it.  ARGH.

What I want to do is go down to the nearest ultrasound place here in town (the one in Double Diamond maybe?) and have another look.  But, it’s not in the budget.  Especially not now with Christmas looming.  I’m just so aggravated that once again, I don’t have a concrete answer.  If it IS a girl, I need to know soon because I need to wrangle up some girl clothes.  Otherwise, the child will be wearing the loveliest train jammies home from the hospital. 😛

Finding Out?

So.  Today is the day.  The day of the Big Ultrasound.  Can I just say, once more, how glad I am that I got this appointment before Thanksgiving??  I was hoping to know by Turkey Day and now it would appear I may get my wish.  Notice how I said “may”.   Do you remember what happened with Liam when he was in utero?  That’s sort of a trend with my children.  Jackson was a little vague but I think that’s mostly because I didn’t like the first answer I got; that he was a boy.  I’ve mellowed considerably since then, thank goodness.

A lot of people think I’m anxious for this ultrasound because I want this baby to be a girl.  Which, yeah, I would like a girl.  But I have to look at it this way: This child is already whatever it is.  All today will do (hopefully) is show us what it is.  So how an I be upset with what this child already is?  I just can’t.  Plus, I have the knowledge that boys are fabulous and I love being a mom to boys.  The only real reasons I’d like a girl at this point are a) because it’s a new experience, b) this is my last child and last chance to have that experience and c) have you SEEN girl clothes?  CA-UTE.  But really, those reasons are pretty shallow.  Which should tell you that I don’t really care what this baby is.

No, my big desire for this ultrasound is because I NEED TO KNOW.  If you’ve been reading me for any length of time, you probably know I don’t do suspense very well.  If you haven’t then I’ll fill you in:  I don’t do suspense very well.  I’m the sort that often will skip ahead in whatever book I’m reading so that I can see what will happen (the only exception being the “Harry Potter” books, I was a good girl with those).  Even now, as I’m watching my reality tv shows for my reality tv blog I’ll check out the television websites so I can see who is eliminated beforehand so I’m not taken by surprise too much when the time comes.   Silly, aren’t I?  But I’m old and set in my ways and I’m not going to start changing now.

So I just want to know.  I’m scared to death that we’ll get in there and have a shy child.  Well, of that and of a baby that isn’t 100% healthy, but that should go without saying at this point.  I’m hoping against all hope that this child will cooperate and show us the goods without too much trouble.  I want a good, clear shot.  One of those “sitting on a photo copier” style shots.  One way or another, I must know or I shall drive myself and everyone around me absolutely insane before this is all over with.

If you’re interested, my appointment is at 1:30 Pacific time and I’ll be updating my Twitter with the news (or lack thereof) as soon as I can after that.  So keep your eye on my Twitter there to the right (see it?  Up there at the top?  Cute, huh?) if you want advance notice.  Otherwise, I’ll post here with my thoughts when I return home.  And for the love of God, keep your fingers crossed for me!