Oh, grow up already

So we’ve already established that Marilyn (which is me, I’m talking about myself in the third person, apparently) is in something of a mood this week.  But even if I weren’t, I would probably STILL write this post which is why I’m going to go ahead and publish it, even if it does push the boundaries of the sort of cattiness I prefer to talk about on my blog.

I guess my point here is: There are a LOT of whiners out there.

Honestly, I think BlogHer is almost just an excuse at this point.  These are feelings that course through the community in general and the mommy blogging community in particular all year long.  The jealousy, the bitterness, the snarking and complaining.  And I am SO SICK OF IT.

Let it be known that I am most definitely NOT a member of the “a-list” (whatever the heck that even MEANS).  I never have been, my entire life.  Shoot, according to that one website, my blog is “c-list”.  So it’s not like I’m sitting up here on some magical perch looking down on the minions or anything.  Growing up, I was never at the “bottom of the pack” but neither was I ever at the top either.  I always had a solid group of friends and was pretty content with my status.  GEE, kinda like I am now, huh?

What I’m sick of most is the people who are complaining who didn’t even GO TO BLOGHER.  But they’re blaming not going on… what… that they don’t think the a-list will like them?  WTF?  Or that they feel like the conference is one big “clique” (it’s called a spell-check, ya’ll) and they’ll be hopelessly on the outs.  OH PLEASE.  Feeling this way is one thing, but whining about it on your blog is another.  Then there’s whining about it on your blog and then inviting the “a-list” over so you can, what, get traffic?  Or something?  WTF??

What you perceive as a clique might actually be a group of friends who are happy to see one another after an entire year has passed and they are excited to spend time with each other over the course of a two-day conference.  Just because they are “a-list” doesn’t mean they don’t have their own group of friends.  They don’t HAVE to want to hang out with you.  That’s what doesn’t make sense to me.  We can’t get on these bloggers for not spreading themselves around when we do the same thing with our own little groups of friends.  No one is trying to make anyone else feel bad.  Which means one thing:  If you feel bad it’s pretty much due to your own insecurities.  Sorry to have to break it to ya.

I think T at Send Chocolate said it best in her post from earlier today:

I guess what I am trying to say is that there were over a thousand women attending BlogHer. And you couldn’t find anyone to connect with? Really? Or you just couldn’t be part of the A Crowd, and it felt too much like your experiences in high school so you sat in a corner to pout? If I see one more post that compares BlogHer to high school or college, I swear, I am going to lose it.

AMEN, sister.  Preach it.  I feel 100% the same way.  SO WHAT if the big names didn’t give you the time of day (did you even try to say hi?)?  SO WHAT if they don’t visit your blog and leave you comments and follow you on Twitter respond to your @ replies.  SO WHAT.  There about a bazillion other blogs out there authored by equally awsome women that you could always fit yourself in with. That’s the way I feel about it.  I don’t go to BlogHer harboring any notions that I’ll sit down for lunch with the Big Wigs.  But I do expect to find a bloggy friend or two, someone I know I can connect with.  And I do expect to meet new people and make new connections.

Some people want it easy.  The fame, the popularity, the respect, the admiration, the traffic, the money… Being friends with the “a-list” is a fast pass to that kind of life, isn’t it?  It just doesn’t work that way.  I don’t know why some bloggers are “popular” and some aren’t.  I imagine a lot of these “a-listers” would tell you the same thing.  They don’t really KNOW why they’re popular.  You can’t always say it’s because they’re good writers because there are plenty of awesome writers out there who haven’t been discovered.  You can’t always say it’s because they’re friends with so-and-so, because someone else is too and no one hardly ever comments on their blog.  It just is what it is.

And really.  WHO REALLY CARES.  We’re all bloggers, and if we’re mommy bloggers then we all have someone’s butt to wipe at the end of the day (and the beginning of the day, and the middle of the day… ).  How about instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you pull yourself out of your Pity Rut and engage in the community.  Find peace with yourself and with your blog and your own little niche of blog friends.  You will be MUCH happier in the end for it.

11 thoughts on “Oh, grow up already

  1. Hey I’m apparently a “B List Blogger” whatever the FUCK that means. I really don’t get the people who didn’t go to BH bitching. WHAT?! I should write a post about how NICE everyone was. I mean people are so approachable and we are all overwhelmed. My main complaint was feeling rushed to spend QT with everyone. I think next time I will be able to navigate myself better there.

    I am really glad you wrote this post. Besides, I like it when you are feisty!


    sizzles last blog post..Let’s Be Dorky

  2. I’m a Z list blogger LOL. Seriously! I’m not bitching about not going to BlogHer, but I do agree that there are some cliques in the blogging world (NOT just in the mommy bloggers either). These cliques can be very hurtful to some people, and can leave some thinking that the bloggers they read every day don’t care about them at all. For instance, there is a blogger I read (whom I don’t think is A list, but is definitely a fairly well known presence in the blogging world) who gets less than 50 comments on a regular post. I’ve been reading and commenting there for years and have only once had a reply to anything I’ve said. This blogger, however, does have friends and responds to them frequently – yet I continue to read her LOL. But what I’m saying is that regardless of BlogHer, there are some blogging cliques…it just kinda happens.

  3. Hi. I totally GET you. I have been in similar arrangements at Pagan festivals — yes, I am Pagan with a capital “P”. And the Schtuff tends to hit the fan on occasion the same way at the biggest Pagan events…and EVERYONE wants to meet the BFP’s (“Big *eff-Ing* Pagans). ::sigh:: They are just PEOPLE!…except for the most self-centered of them (and they do exist, and I’m sure they do exist in the blog world).

    Yeah…I know what you mean. Some BFP’s are close friends of mine in real life and yeah, they write books and stuff like that but they still get up and go to work in very mundane jobs and whatever.

    The worst ones are those who get too full of themselves…but those are the ones that eventually no one except the new-bees want to hang around LOL.

    ‘Sall-right….you are groovy and loved. And Yeah…I get about the high school-y thingy. However, I got over that, as I am abouttobe 43…and they should too.

    blessings and you rock

    all hey…it’s all good

    Moon HalloranLeadys last blog post..Fettucine Alfredo con Broccoli

  4. Too funny….loved this post! I don’t think I am even on ANY list…HA! Just keeping a blog for myself and the few family and friends that want to read along…too funny, too funny!

    Traceys last blog post..Thankful Thursday

  5. That list of whether you’re an A-D blogger is total BS. I don’t fit into that criteria at all. I’ve been blogging for at least 5 years (maybe only 5), but I ran a website that I updated every day and journaled on since 2000 – I guess that makes me an A+ blogger for blogging before it became blogging? ::shrugs:: Whatever, I don’t need a label.

    If I went to blogher, the only people that I would expect to hang out with are the people that I have online friendships with – people that I email and talk to, or people I exchange comments on it. I wouldn’t expect any of the so-called A-list people to want to hang out with me… unless we happened to sit together during lunch or something. I’m not going to seek out MS. Popular and then gush all over her shoes so she will “like me”.

    You are so, so right on with your last paragraph.

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