This has been a hard week. Partly because Evie is teething (I can finally feel the little buggers poking through her gums now!) and as such her sleeping has become a lot more schizophrenic. Partly because Liam is acting every inch of TWO YEARS OLD and I’ve about had it with his constant boundary testing. And partly because, well, I’m not taking thyroid medication. Again.
So, I’m mentally cringing in anticipation of the accusations I’ll get from you guys. I know I should have been more on top of things than I was. But I just don’t know HOW I could have been. I saw the doctor back at the beginning of August. He prescribed me 100mg of meds, 100mg less than I was taking before Evie was born. He had me go get my blood tested and sure enough, my levels were Not Good. I forget the number now (maybe I put it in a post somewhere? Far too lazy to go look for it), but it was fairly high. The idea was I would get my blood tested again in September and go back in to see him a week after that and we would re-evaluate my meds then.
Hmm. Riiiight.
The thing is, I cannot, cannot, take two small kids to get my blood drawn. Not when one of those kids is Liam. We don’t even have any labs near our house, it’s a good 20 minute drive to get to any lab. It just can’t be done without additional adult assitance. And Kile, well, he’s been busy at work. He can’t really take a lot of time off. It’s great that his job is so stable, don’t get me wrong. We definitely don’t want to rock that boat. So I haven’t pushed the issue. In truth, I haven’t made it a priority. And, to be honest, once I was able to get my blood drawn, I surely couldn’t go to the doctor with both kids either.
Basically, I’m trapped here at home with the kids. I cannot leave with them so I cannot leave, period.
And, unfortunately, I’m feeling the effects of it. My temper is short (not good when matched with Ornery Two Year Old), I’m easily frustrated, and I can tell that I’m circling the drain yet again.
So basically… when it comes to taking care of myself I am an Epic Fail. And I just don’t know what I can do anymore to pull myself out of this hole.
slackermama 
At the risk of providing assvice (I am an INTJ – I like to fix things :)) – what if, at least for the blood draw, you hired someone to look after Liam at least for a couple of hours? I think Evie is pretty portable still.
Because what it boils down to: if you’re not taking care of yourself, its not just you that’s suffering.
Thus endeth the assvice. 🙂
Nicoles last blog post..Not all Heartless
Here’s the trick, schedule Liam’s appointment and blood draw on the same day. That way Kile is there for it all on the same day. I know, I’m a genius. Hystorically, October is a quiet month at the daily grind so take advantage of it now. Because guess when happens when mom doesn’t take care of herself. Everything falls apart. EVERYTHING! It’s so easy to take care of yourself last and to feel guilty about even taking time for yourself. However, your thyroid is nothing to mess around with.
Its funny in the header on this page is Blogher 2006 and there is me! and Zoot. And Cagey. It’s like a support posse all up on your homepage. Cuz you know we are all pulling for you.
I totally have the solution to all your problems.
what ? you want it now? No.. You must give me ONE MILLION DOLLARS bwahahahahahahaha.
Okay I don’t have any answers, also if we get our two year olds together do you think they would beat the poop out of each other long enough for us to get drunk?? Or would they just scream and run around with their underwear on their heads.
And would that be just as good as being drunk?
Wait. Am I drunk now?
LOVE to you…
brits last blog post..The sun, the rain and the appleseed;
Hi Marilyn,
Forgive me for not knowing, but why can’t you leave the house with the kids?
How about asking a girlfriend to either go with you to help with the kids, or asking her to watch one or both of the kids so that you can go to the lab?
Hope things get better.
Amanda
My kids are 19 mos. apart in age, and even with the double stroller and all the gear, I remember being SO intimidated about leaving the house with both of them on our own.
When I finally sat down and thought about it, though, I realized that the worst thing that could happen was that I’d run out of diapers and someone would have to wait, or maybe I’d have to figure out how to entertain the big one while I fed the little one, but otherwise, how bad could it be?
So, I started small, with trips to the pharmacy or the grocery store, but after a while we were doing all the things I had done with my big girl wh
en
Amys last blog post..The Engineering Gene
…right the little one was “helping” – anyway, before long we were doing all the things I’d done before with one, and so far, 18 months in, we haven’t had any major disasters.
In other words, they won’t explode if you sit ’em in the stroller for 5 minutes to get your blood drawn, even if they both scream the entire time. No child has ever exploded from crying for a minute or two.
I also think you should get a doc closer to home, if at all possible. We see a family doctor – who treats all four of us – rather than each of us having a separate doctor, and it’s really convenient for scheduling back to back appointments and minimizing travel. I highly recommend having a family doc instead of a doc for you, a doc for your husband, and a ped for the kids.
Feel better soon!
Amy @ http://prettybabies.blogspot.com
Oh girl, I have BTDT! My kidlets are 2 years 9 mos apart exactly, so yeah…getting mum to the doc was never easy nor a priority. At least my husbandatthetime had a retail job and that meant sporadic hours usually in the evening so the days were more free. But I can tell you there were definitely times when I was rushing around with two little ones and one of them to nurse and other crying and pooping all over himself and…*oy vey*!
But you can do it. Like the poster above, it won’t kill the kids to scream for a minute or two while you get your blood drawn. Gotsta take care of the mommy, ‘k? Do that for Momma Moon, canya? Put Evie in a sling and occupy Liam with a new toy, but if that fails, hey Benedryl is always mommy’s little helper 🙂 **sarcasm there**
This, too, shall pass. Things will get easier (and harder) as they grow…but I don’t wanna spoil it for ya so I won’t give away the good/bad parts.
Oh and…Please don’t take this the wrong way, but have you been screened for PPD? I’m just saying because I went through that after my first child was born and I was the last one to know. Only a little after baby #2, but I recognized it that time. I also am recognizing some of that in your words, so I just want you to think about that. Could just be the thyroid, but it couldn’t hurt to mention it to the doc.
Just know this: “You are good enough; you are smart enough; and doggonit, people like you!” 🙂
hugs from an older mommy whose kids are teens now
Moon HalloranLeadys last blog post..Coyote Ugly
Well, I’m going to echo a few of your previous posters and remind you that if you don’t take care of yourself, then taking care of your kids is harder than it has to be. I understand about not feeling like you can take the kids with you to your appointment without backup – I only have one and there are some days where I just WILL NOT expose her to other people because she’s got cranky going in full-force. That being said, you NEED your medication. If Evie (or LIam or Harry) needed to go to the doctor, you would without a doubt, suck it up and drag the other kid(s) to the appointment even if Kile couldn’t go with you. So, do the same thing for yourself. They need a healthy mommy. Don’t make me come to Reno and give you the evil eye.
t’s all good and the kids don’t stay teensy forever (don’t you wish!)