Yeah, so I changed it

WordPress wanted me to upgrade this morning.  And I’m not good at avoiding such “in-your-face” reminder tactics.  So I upgraded.  And then I found out one of the new features is a nifty new theme browser and you know I just HAD to try that out.

And plus, I was kind of needing to change the design of this blog anyhow.  I loved the old one and it worked very well for me.  But I don’t think it worked that well for everyone else.  And it was just plain TIME.

So here ya go!  There will be more fiddling here and there as I see fit.  But I’m looking at a huge yarn backlog (meaning tons of knitting), some blog posts on my other blogs that I’m behind on, several days with visiting family and various and sundry other things that are occupying my attention at hte moment.  So basically… don’t hold your breath.

Do you like it?  I think I do.  Looks a bit brighter and fresher.  It’s nice to clear out hte cobwebs after winter is over, yes?

In other news:  I hate caffeine headaches.  (Wait, that isn’t really news, is it?)

I can mark this off the list now

So remember my list from last week of things I wanted to get done?  I’ve been slogging through, diligently.  Some things, like dying the yarn, I haven’t gotten to yet.  Not so much with the organizing existing yarn and needles either.  But I have done all the laundry, knit my little tuckus off, mostly set up the Hyena Cart shop (I plan to open it tomorrow, God willing) and, now, I have opened the craft blog.

Aren’t you all proud of me?

I’m sure there is still work to be done, kinks to iron out, plugins to install.  But for the most part, I’m pretty proud of the craft blog.  I hesitate to call it a knitting blog since I’m sure to stick other things on there besides knitting from time to time.

In the meantime, if you are interested in seeing what I’m doing, knitting-wise, please keep an eye on slackermama is a craftymama.  I am sure I will astound you all with my amazing knitting prowess.

Feeling Low

I’m just not feeling it today. In fact, I’m feeling sad, angry, stressed and futile. Mostly this is real life stuff that I’m just not going to go into here on this blog. Besides, it seems whenever I post something anymore everyone takes it totally the wrong the way, assumes something I didn’t mean for them assume or some other way rags on it. And right now, I just can’t take another beating.

Life is not fair.

People are not nice.

Compassion is gone.

Understanding is an antiquated notion.

I’m tired. I’m stressed. I think a lot of people are tired and stressed. And I’m feeling the affects of them taking out their stress on me and mine.

Life just plain sucks right now. I get that. But can we just be a little reasonable to one another? Is that really so much to ask? Does nobody care what they do to another person or how they make another person feel anymore?

Actually, I was wrong in the first sentence of this post. I’m definitely feeling it. I’m feeling it a little too much. I wish I didn’t feel so much.

Truth and Consequences

I’ve been doing a lot of introverted-style thinking about this blog and the blogging community at large, social responsibility and blogging responsibility.  I think we all know that I tend to approach blogging and the internet community at large rather naively.  This is not a big surprise.   I tend to credit people with decency that maybe they don’t always deserve.  However, I still continue to think the best of people.  See?  Naive.

This is why when I discover a blog that spews forth nothing but hate, derision and judgement, I am stunned.  Floored.  Agast.  I found out about just such a blog yesterday.  And I think I knew about this blog before, had heard several people mention it, but never looked any further into it.  I don’t think I really wanted to know.  But yesterday, just such a blog said some very hurtful things about a friend of mine and even now I am still reeling.

I don’t understand where this mentality comes from.  I don’t get the need to call someone out who operates some other way than yourself and point and laugh, encouraging others to point and laugh with you.  It’s that whole “bully” thing we used to see in junior high.  I didn’t get it then, either.  How does that make you feel better, as a person, to pick on people like that?  How does that improve your life?  How does that improve the community, at large?

There’s the standard response line of “if you put it out there on the internet, it’s fair game”.  That’s a load of bull and it’s a poor excuse.  Simply because someone posts something on the internet, why does that mean then that people have to disparage it?  What would happen, say, if people just left it alone?  Ignored it, if it bothered them?  Went on with their merry lives and focused their energies on a more positive endeavor?  Would the world stop spinning on it’s axis?  Would the moon crack open and fall into the sun?  WOULD LIFE AS WE KNOW IT CEASE TO EXIST?  Hardly.

Another response I hear is “it’s in the interest of truth and exposing hypocrisy!”  Really?  Who CARES?  This particular site likes to go after The Pioneer Woman and Dooce fairly regularly and insists that while they don’t dislike PW, they need to expose that this idyllic life she puts forth isn’t exactly the truth.  Again I’ll say: WHO CARES?  I love to read PW’s sites.  I like her photos, her recipes and her stories.  So what if she’s not telling the whole unvarnished story?  So what if she’s richer than God because of her successful family/site/what the heck ever?  How does that impact me?  Unless I were to win one of her fantastic giveaways, I don’t think it impacts me at all.  And then, it would only impact me positively.  So why would I want to rag on her or her site?  I wouldn’t.  That’s the point.

Same thing with Dooce.  I don’t ever hold any dillusions of being BFFs with Heather, with her ever knowing me from a hole in the ground, even.  But yes, I do read her site and enjoy her photographs.   I don’t buy into the whole “she’s exploiting her child” and “her husband is an automaton” and “she is a drama queen!” thing.  Why?  Because I don’t really CARE.  It doesn’t affect me.  I wish the best for her, of course, and am interested in what goes on with her but beyond that, what difference does it make?

It makes me wonder if I shouldn’t rethink my own site.  Remove names, photos, details, etc.  That would be one step before not blogging altogether.  And in light of what I posted a few days ago, I am loathe to let that happen.   I may not have a lot of traffic or draw a huge crowd of readers, even enough to warrant a hate-filled site to target me, but I love my blog and I love blogging.  It brings me peace and joy and community and most of all, a place to put my feelings.  If I didn’t have it anymore, I would miss it terribly.  And I wonder if I could have it if I started worrying about censoring myself more than I already do (yep!  I do censor myself, believe it or not!).

I don’t know if I really have a point to this entry (and how is this different from any other entry?), but I want to put out there a little, “Can’t we all just get along?” and some “Try a little tenderness”.  With the world going to pot the way it is, we could use a little more positivity and a lot less negativity, don’t you think?

Fall Back

Daylight savings time is about a joke, isn’t it?  I mean, what’s the point if no one informs the children?  To Evie, it was 8:30 and a good, normal time to be waking up.  To us it was 7:30 and we sure would have liked to have slept in another half hour or so.

***

My blog was acting awful strange yesterday.  I put a post up at four and I even checked that it went up but then my browser restarted (let’s not talk about the hate I have for my laptop AGAIN, okay?) and this morning, the post was gone.  Well, it wasn’t GONE.  I still had it but it was somehow not published to the front page.  Very strange.  So I fixed it.  So in case you were wondering where yesterday’s post went?  There ya go.  I think the monster that has been possessing my laptop has finally cloned itself and the clone has invaded my blog.  It’s the only acceptable answer.

***

I think I need a new doctor.  Correction: I KNOW I need a new doctor.  Remember almost TWO weeks ago when on a Tuesday I went and had my blood drawn for thyroid labs?  And then the doctor’s office called on Wednesday and told me that my TSH level was a little “high” and that I needed to continue taking my medication.  Continue?  Sure, she said.  Just take one and a half of your 100mcg pills.  But I’m all out of pills.  Oh, well, then have the pharmacy fax the refill request to our office.  I wasn’t entirely sure about this, but… she sounded like this was something they did all the time so… why not.  So I put in the refill request with the pharmacy and was assured it would take a good 48 hours to process.

Cut to SUNDAY (I wanted to give them extra time? I guess?) and I went to the pharmacy and OH GUESS WHAT?  They haven’t gotten the refill confirmation back from the doctor’s office yet.  Of course.  The pharmacist sounded alarmed that had no pills to take (not even knowing my levels) and gave me two to tide me over and promised to fax and phone the doctor’s office again in the morning.

It was a busy, strange week and this got pushed to the backburner.  Kile stopped in at the pharmcy on Friday to check on my prescription.  The pharmacist assured him that she faxed them EVERY day this week and NOTHING.  Not a phone call.  Nothing.

So apparently, my doctor’s office SUCKS.  I think I need a new doctor.  Correction: I KNOW I need a new doctor.

***

Liam loves to empty out his pack n play when he’s done being in there.  It drives me KRAZEE.

***

It’s going to be a long day.

Wow, you guys take me pretty seriously

It doesn’t matter that I included this little bit at the bottom of last night’s post:

(this is pretty tongue in cheek, I hope you realize that.  I’m not THAT pathetic.)

Okay, maybe it was because it was in really tiny type or you all thought it was another pathetic link to something I’ve written elsewhere (speaking of: check out the post I featured on Blog Nosh today!)  For whatever reason, I get the impression from a lot of my comments that you guys think I’m whining about not having visitors to my blog.  Which, I guess, SORTA but that wasn’t the point of my posting the post in the first place or the point of the graphic.

I get a lot more people to my blog now than I did even a year ago.  That just rocks my socks.  What puzzled me about those stats the most was the weird DIP they took yesterday. I know stats go down on weekends (I have been blogging for four years nearly, I think I know that by now).  But it was such a DRAMATIC dip and fairly uncharacteristic.  So I called attention to it.  And, yeah, I tried to be funny.  But I don’t think that came across too well (note to self: don’t invest in a career as a comedian).

I just don’t want anyone to think that I am one of those bloggers who once they start getting actual traffic start complaining about their stats when most bloggers are happy to have 50 visitors to their site in one day.  (And yes, I know, it TOTALLY looked like that.)  When I posted that, I was watching the Emmys with Kile and feeling a little giddy.  Why the Emmys made me feel giddy in the first place, I have NO IDEA.  But I checked my stats and without pausing for a moment, thought, “This would make an awesome post.”

Apparently… not.

Anyhow.  No, I’m not conceited.  Please don’t think that of me.  I won’t threaten to fire any of you ever again.  I PROMISE.

This is why people ignore their stats

People.  What do I have to do?  Do I have to post nude pictures here? (Not of me, of course, that would likely have the opposite effect.)  Would you take a look at this pathetic sight right here?

Do I have leprosy?  (It’s not contageous you know, that’s a myth.)  But SERIOUSLY.  Today I had the worst stats I’ve seen in at least thirty days (if not sixty… ninety… I could go on.).   Was it my obnoxious self-aggrandizing poll?  Was it my links list (have I jumped the shark with that?)?  Was it my total “phoning it in” post from today?

Seriously ya’ll.  If things don’t start looking up, I’m gonna have to let you all go.  And in this trying economy, no one wants to see that.

_{(this is pretty tongue in cheek, I hope you realize that.  I’m not THAT pathetic.)}

Changes are coming

I wish I could say these changes are something exciting, like a new freelancing gig (that pays the big bucks, of course) or that we’re buying a new house or something noteworthy.  Alas, the changes I refer to are my blog design.  Ho hum.

Still, aren’t you impressed that I’ve gone THIS LONG without changing my design?  I think this is a new record for me.  And I still pretty much like this design.  Buuuut… I’ve had complaints about readability again and I’m not really sure what’s causing it.  It’s probably a conflict with the current design and a plugin or two I’ve got installed (I’ve only got like a MILLION of those).  I figure the best way to fix that is a new design, something more current.  Hopefully it’ll do the trick, but who knows?

I hope everyone will like it.  I’m sorta in love with it so far and I’m not even done with it yet.  I’ve forgotten how much I used to enjoy working with blog design, back before the joy was sucked out of it for me by demanding clients.  (Whoops, I shouldn’t say that, should I?  Not everyone was demanding… this was the case of the very few ruining it for the many.)

So here’s where I ask you (my dear, loyal, fabulous readers!) for advice.  I’m sure I’ve asked this before and if I have, then just bear with me.  What would you like to see, feature-wise, in the new design?  Anything that I have in this design that you would rather I not use?  This is your chance to affect the very future of my blog.  Anything can (and maybe will) go!

Hey good lookin'

I’m thinking of doing a redesign.  Those of you who have read this blog for a while are rolling your eyes and going, “AGAIN?”  I can’t help it.  I’ve seen colors and fonts and designs lately that have inspired me.  And I can’t question the inspiration.  When it strikes, I must answer.  So if you see some dust here in the days ahead, that’s what it is.  Then again, you might not see any dust because I might not do anything at all.  See how up in the air that is?

I don’t mean to be so confusing, I just am.

My brain feels like mush this morning.  I blame a general lack of caffeine.  All I want to do is crawl back in bed and embrace the bliss.  Alas, there’s all these darned kids to take care of.  Pesky kids.

I do want to say that I did watch a bit of Sarah Palin’s speech and I don’t see what everyone’s all excited about.  I wanted to stab my eyes out.   I didn’t think her speech was that great, to be honest.   And then there’s that part of me that says, “What does it even matter?” because it’s not like McCain is even going to win in November.  So it’s all a moot point anyhow.  I changed the channel and watched the Daily Show and the Colbert Report and that felt MUCH BETTER.  No more stabby feelings.

So with all of that off my chest, I want to share some pictures.  I do love me some pictures.

I love that Liam is mugging for the camera these days.  Even if he does have cookie all over his face.

Aww, a moment of sibling love.  He loves to hug her when she’s in the saucer.  She is unimpressed.

Evie mostly just wants to grab the camera.

My little rock star.  I made this onesie from an iron-on I got on sale at Michael’s.  Go me!

What does it mean to be a mommy blogger?

HBM’s recent horrific experience and post about whether or not she’s “pimping out” her child on her blog has made a lot of us in the realm of mommy blogging stop and think (and get more than a little pissed, if you want the truth).   A lot of us in our little tight-knit community are classified as “mommy bloggers” but when you stop and think… what does that mean, exactly?  And, more importantly, what does society and the average Joe Person think that means?

To me, it’s simple.  At least where myself is concerned.  Like HBM, I consider my blog to be about me, my journey as a parent, who I am and how being a mother affects my life.  Yes, sometimes I talk about my pregnancies, the my children and the minutiae of our lives in that regard.  And yes, I often post pictures for us all to ooh and aah over.  But I would hardly consider those sorts of posts to be the focus of my blog.  My blog is first and foremost about me.  It is about my family second.  And that isn’t to be confused with my priorities because as all mother’s can atest, our families come FIRST (Every. Time.) and we come (in most cases) dead last.

But what does “society” (and by this I mean your Average Joe and/or the media) think a mommy blogger is?  Do they expect us to be sunshine, rainbows and dandelions day in and day out?  Do they think all we do is talk about our children’s daily input and output and post pictures and profess the joys of motherhood to anyone who will listen?  Who the HECK would want to read THAT?  So maybe, just maybe, when Joe Blow reads a news article like that, they stop and think, “Hey, that’s not what *I THINK* a mommy blogger talks about!  Or what they even SHOULD talk about!  I’m going to spout some heinous vitriol in the comments to let the world know my superior displeasure with these so called “mommies”!”  Which, let’s be honest, the newspaper wanted Joe Blow to think when he read that article.  Why would the media want that?  Because they love to sell papers and in order to sell papers they need to appeal to the lowest common denominator.  They need to stir the pot and create a controversy.  And a headline that “hints” that bloggers exploit their children on their blogs wants nothing more than to create a controversy.  Do not be fooled.

I don’t know about you all, but I don’t want Joe Person or ESPECIALLY the media to decide who I am and what I blog out.  I will not be told that what I do is “exploitive” (I think in order for that to happen I’d have to actually make MONEY doing this, right?).  I will not be made to feel bad for doing something that has been such a positive influence in my and my family’s life.  I don’t want any other mommy blogger to feel this way either.  I don’t know what needs to happen to make this change happen, but it definitely needs to change.